"I was thinking about making a suicide but then I realized that I can't do that because I love you all so much."

"K****, don't you ever call me and say that. I haven't got over the suicide of my mother and now you are calling me like this. Can't you see that we need you. My younger boy so want's to see you. He misses you."

"I know. But do you understand that you four are the most important things in my life."

The phonecall continued and we talked about my mysery and what I'm going through at the moment. That was my aunt calling. She was a little drunk, as always when she calls like that.

My mom was an alcoholic and killed her self in 2005, when my older son was only three months old. I was seventeen by then and when I got the phonecall from my father that morning, my life turned over. A part of me died.

Mom had been the most important person in my life and I had helped her in every possible ways. I took  care of my little brother, who was fifteen years when this suicide was commited.

There was a little slice of my past..

But this day is a good day. No one can take it from me.